Burberry (TM) Bullies
I believe Burberry used to be a brand with a bit of class about it. Pity that today in the public mind wearing their check has become so linked with salt-of-the-earth working class youngsters like our beer-swilling friend here - aka ‘chavs’, ‘neds’, or ‘schemies’.
But maybe that’s appropriate, going by my recent experience. From a company that I’d expect to behave with professionalism and dignity, came a quite remarkably nasty, and frankly stupid, bit of corporate thuggery. So in the time-honoured custom of giving the bully a bit of a deserved biff on the nose, here’s the full story…
New Scottish Tartan Register Bill Published
You may recall my posting a few months ago about the progress towards an official National Register of Tartan. Well, breaking news: the bill [full document] has been introduced to Parliament, and yesterday marked its Official Release.
The new body will be administered through the Court of the Lord Lyon and the National Archives of Scotland, giving it an immediate authority not just nationally but internationally. And contrary to the fears of a few instinctive naysayers, its function will be explictly enabling rather than controlling, helping to promote tartan awareness. The parameters of what should be allowed to be recorded have been drawn as widely as possible, with the primary concern merely to control deliberate abuse of the new system.
I’ll doubtless write more anon, as developments progress. But it’s been a remarkable achievement to bring together so many interested parties to create something that should be good for everyone who cares about tartan. Watch this space!
Kilt Outfits - now on video!
If you enjoy looking at wonderful photography of guys in kilts, you’ve a treat in store. Our recent photoshoot at the incredibly gorgeous Lennoxlove House, half an hour South of Edinburgh (seriously, if you’re planning a wedding, check it out!) turned out fabulously. The images will be appearing on the Scotweb site over the coming weeks. But just to whet your appetite, he’s some video as a taster! More to follow soon, so watch this space!
A sample video: Classic Braemar Kilt Outfit
40 Celebrities Who'd Look Great In Kilts
Mel Gibson sported one in Braveheart; Liam Neeson showed he’s man enough to wear one too. We’re talking about a kilt. It’s not just a skirt for guys — it’s rugged and handsome — and oh yeah, we get to see a little more of our favorite guys exposed. Here for your enjoyment, the 40 celebrities who would look great in kilts:
40. Keith Urban

This country crooner is way too handsome to leave off the list. It’s only fair that we get a peek at what Nicole Kidman’s looking at.
39. Clive Owen

He’s a phenomenal actor and he’s hot… uh… sorry, just daydreaming about seeing more of the fine Clive Owen.
38. Scott Speedman

The Felicity and Underworld star has the chiseled good looks that would look oh-so-fine with tartan clothing.
37. Dennis Quaid

As far as older guys go, Dennis Quaid has got it goin’ on. And we want more!
Do Scottish accents leave you shaken or stirred?
In a UK-wide ‘Voices Project’ poll conducted by the venerable and much-loved BBC, Edinburgh-born Sir Sean Connery has been named as having “the most pleasant voice” from a range of celebrities.
While results further down the list showed some disagreement and regional variation (the ‘least pleasant voice’ belonged to Ian Paisley or among Northern Irish respondents, Janet Street-Porter, with David Beckham and Cilla Black faring poorly too), Sir Sean’s trademark baritone was found soothing and seductive across the board, consistently getting top marks from English, Welsh and Northern Irish voters as well as Scots.
Berwick to become part of Scotland?
A poll of local people by a TV company found that around 60% of respondents in Berwick-upon-Tweed (just across the border with England) would prefer to be legally Scottish rather than English, whilst the local newspaper’s polling found the figure to be nearly 80%. Well, they’ve swapped allegiance over a dozen times in their history aleady, so why not again?
Well, one reason to hesitate is that the reason given most to pollsters was to take advantage of Scotland’s more generous social benefits, more than a burning cultural allegiance. In other words, greed. Do we really want to encourage a new form of economic migration by foreign spongers? Oops, sorry, got a nasty touch of the DailyMails there!
More seriously, there are certainly questions to be asked about how long-lasting this new loyalty might be. For example, if Scotland were to elect the Conservatives to power and England put George Galloway’s party into Downing Street (hey, stranger things have happened - though admittedly not many) would they then want back again? I think as part of any referendum they’d have to sign up to some sort of covenant swearing they wouldn’t change their minds within, say, 100 years.
And more seriously still, why stop there? It’s often been suggested that Newcastle might prefer to join Scotland than England, for example. After all, it’s far closer to Edinburgh than London geographically, and many would say culturally too. Has anyone actually done the polling to find out? And while we’re at it, what about Manchester? Birmingham?… Guildford?… Heck, who’d want to be administered by London?!!
The Top 10 weirdest tartan creations
Maybe once upon a time tartans were something your granny used for her knee-rug. But not today! Tartans are now the hippest most happening way to bring a dash of pizazz to anything and everything that grabs your brainbox. And if you don’t believe me, just check out this quick run-down of the funkiest funniest plaids on the planet!!
10. Duck Under My Kilt
My friend MacDuck here just quacks me up. Bathtime will never be the same again now that I can bring a touch of tartan into my world of suds. Doesn’t he just make those plain yellow versions so… yesterday!
Photo by Roger.The.Dodger
Read the rest of the ten funniest things in tartan…
Bribing Politicians Now Legal!
The Scottish police yesterday announced that from now on it will “not be in the public interest” to pursue housebreakers who hold their hands up when caught red-handed with bags of swag; muggers will be let off scot-free if they apologise after taking the money; and arsonists will now be allowed to burn down any buildings they like, provided they aren’t caught doing so more than once. The reason is that each will have taken “significant steps” to comply with the law.
No, I just made it up. This is obvious nonsense, of course. But it is the same remarkable double-think by which the body responsible for protecting democracy, the Electoral Commission, has just announced that Wendy Alexander is not to be prosecuted for corruption - despite her own admission that she broke the law by accepting a large ‘donation’ (note, NOT a bribe!) from an overseas businessman. Apparently it wouldn’t be in the public interest for a political party leader who takes illegal donations to be prosecuted. Why? It might scare other politicians into being more careful before accepting bribes, and then where are their slush funds going to come from?
Just say Nae (The White Ring Thing)
The Scottish Government has just decided that their drugs policy will henceforth be based on “promoting abstinence”. Good plan guys!
This from the same politicians of course who themselves mostly take hard drugs almost every day. No, I’m not accusing Uncle Alex of being a junkie. Just pointing out that alcohol is by far our most serious drug problem. Violence. Accidents. Public nuisance. NHS costs. Bereavements. The ill-effects of heroin, ecstacy, and cannabis combined aren’t even in the same ballpark.
This presumably takes its inspiration from the storming success of the US-led War on Drugs, which as we all know is close to achieving a formal surrender by the Great Leader of the Drugs Army. Well, there has to be a drugs army doesn’t there if there’s to be a war on them… I mean, you can’t wage war on a category of products. Or is this perhaps a sign of hyperbolic muddled thinking?
Let’s take this further…
Finding a tartan in just the right colours
So you’re desperate to identify the family plaid in Great Aunt Jessie’s portrait? Or you’re redecorating your den and need to find a tartan with just the right shades to recover your favourite old chair in… But there are literally thousands of tartans available, so how on earth do you find the right ones to look at?
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Search Tartans by colour!My friend, help is at last here! Our boffins have been sweating blood day and night for many moons (and that’s less of an exaggeration than you’d think - it’s a surprisingly technical task). And now, for the first time ever in the history of western civilisation, an easy-peasy facility exists where you can find just the right tartan in seconds.
Check out our amazing Tartan & Material Finder and give it a go for yourself. For most colour combos you’ll probably get dozens of returns, arranged in order of the proportions of the colours you’re looking for (weighted for the order you entered). And what’s really unique about this is that it’s not just ‘theoretical’ recorded tartans, but it all links through to fabrics actually available in those setts from all the main mills - or affordably woven to order! Neat, huh?

